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For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Texas.

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A state of the United States of Dæmonica




Texas, also known as "The Redneck" or "The Death Star State" due to the large number of low quality motels and restaurants, is a Spanish country in the Atlantic Ocean bordering Mexico unbeknownst to the citizens who live there (most of whom, have never actually been to another state). It borders Mexico on the southwest, causing the Mexicans to be in a perpetual state of crippling fear that Texans will realize that Mexican food actually comes from Mexico and, in turn, travel there. The Gulf of Mexico lies to the southeast, aka “Fishin’ Grounds”. West of Texas is New Mexico, north is Oklahoma, northeast is Arkansas, and Louisiana is to the east; each of those states also live in utter terror because of their proximity to this tumor. Austin is Texas’ capital, and Houston is the largest city, not only for Texas, but the entire planet. The name "Texas" is derived from a Caddoan word meaning "Drive Friendly". Unfortunately, no one in Texass speaks Caddoan anymore, so instead they all drive like "Tex-asses".


It is said that God blessed Texas with his own hand, originally designating it as a place where angels could dance. In fact, the place was so great he had to create obnoxious Texans to restore the balance. Texans lived in peace and harmony with their fellow countrymen until the rest of the nation suddenly became White and started speaking English. Unable to bear such oppression, the native Texas population spontaneously broke out into a native, internal rebellion against their own native government, without any outside or non-native influence whatsoever.